Valentine’s Series: Day Eight: Waiting in Vain

Dear Pearl,

perhaps I was fooled into thinking there was some time. Time for us to think about us. Time for us to realise it was just a stupid fight that we needed to forget. Time. Constant. Ever moving forward. Waiting for no man, or woman.

Time is marching ahead. Yet here I am riveted to you. In the present. You, who has perhaps left me in the past.

“All I hear is raindrops. Falling off the roof tops….
All of this pain I’m feeling won’t go away
And today
I’m officially missing you…”

Blessed are those who can move on in a second, for they don’t live with regrets. A poet friend of mine wrote “What is to let go? Is it to move on or to forget?”

Gawsh. The cadence of your silence is numbing. Actually no, it’s not numbing. It’s scraping against the sides of my mind like a metal on metal. My thoughts are screeching with pain. Trying not see you in my visions and dreams. Trying not to walk to you when I remember the days we were together. I fear there is a tint of madness forming on my soul.

I was fooled into thinking there was time.

“I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love”.

I wish I could say that without holding my breath. I wish I could say that without sinking a little inside. I can’t say that. I’ve been waiting, hopefully. Praying that perhaps you were not serious. But Pearl, at least answer my calls. Let me just hear your voice if only to say goodbye.

You’re condemning me to an Adele-sque depression, where I hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing except the hot and cold flame that consumes me each day when I hear nothing from you.

Is this how you’ve let me go?


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