Sometimes Girls Are Just ….

“It is not fair for one person to have that much power over another…” That is what somebody said regarding a boy/girl relationship. And yesterday I saw the truth in that statement. One of the few things that will make a man considerably weak and helpless and downright exposed, is his emotions for a woman.

“If you’re a player out there sit your tail down and grow up…”

I am not writing from the view of a player, I am writing from the view of men who have discovered that the one worthwhile thing they can truly love is also the same thing that can make them truly abhor.

I do not know if I have the words to express what I want to express but, darn, sometimes girls just need to grow up.

There is an old tradition among women which goes along the lines of a guy doesn’t love a woman who is “easy to get” and therefore meaning, never say yes to a guy the first time he asks you out. In other words, there is some unwritten rule that allows women to lead men on on the guise of proving if the guys really like them. So, they expect that the guy who doesn’t take no for an answer really likes you, and the one who believes your no and moves on was just a joker.

I am not saying there is completely no truth in the above statement, however, over time, men are changing. After preaching the “no means no” gospel in the last century, women expect men not to practice what they have preached. No means no. Not wait.

I have met men who have taken the women at their word, honorable men who do not have time to engage their hearts in dangerous risk behaviour of maybes. They have received the no’s albeit with a lot of heartbreak but have moved on, gone forward, left the women in their past.

So it is annoying when the same women come back and assault you with an unbelievable amount of attention trying to entice you back to what you have moved on from.

For some reason, men are taken to be beasts with hearts of steel. On the outside, maybe, but very few women know the thing a guy goes through to express his heart for a girl. A man is raised up to be strong, courageous, honorable and it seems to many men are more machine than human. That is not true.

The reason men seem to become machine is that they treasure their heart immensely and when one plays with it, the man, retrieves heart and guards it at whatever cost. Never wonder why crushes at school used to make men soft? That is a sacred part of a guy. Not saying it is not sacred for a woman too.

What I am saying is, girls need to grow up and stop thinking men are playthings you can remove from the closet whenever you feel like it.

A close friend shared with me how he was cruelly let down by a girl after almost a year of pursuit. She accepted the dates, received the gifts, as though everything was okay. Brother plots to make his true heart known and does so. Girl tells him she has heard and will get back to him as she has certain pressing things to do. Time passes and finally they meet. So, she decides to give him the answer, and the best way for her to do it was by saying, she has met someone she is more attracted to than him?!!!

Friend loses words, loses appetite, almost breaks down. His heart has been hit by a 2 ton boulder, and pressed against a 10 metre thick wall of concrete.

Well, if you don’t like me like that, tell me so. Better yet, do not lead me on to think you may like me back like that. But what is worse is demeaning and devaluing a man by telling him there is a better guy you have met. That to me was cruel. Can easily make a man a player.

Another friend had a similar experience, he did not even drive home, he walked home. Grieved like he had lost a relative. The thing is , I do not think women take a man’s pursuit in the same importance with which they treat their “in love” emotions. Want to break a man, (not a player), break his heart through a love for a woman.

You will know why Samson lost his hair and died a blind man.

Man can be wealthy, honorable, wise, but once you put a woman in the picture, all those things suddenly lose splendour. When a man loves a woman, believe me it is not a joke. I am not saying that means he deserves to be loved back just cause he loves seriously and solemnly.

I have a friend called Adler. She is a woman. She did not lead Sherlock on. From the moment she discovered he had feelings for her, she let him know she was not in the same mindset or “emotionset” and told him she would not lead him on but that they could be friends. Sher and Adler are one of the greatest examples of friendship I know. Why? There was mutual respect for each others feelings.

So, before you lead a guy on, girl, know that if you are joking about it, you may make a beast or a machine out of a man and so it is better to be wise enough and kind enough to let him know the truth early on before he gets over the moon.

Some people learn on the job, some people come already qualified. Whether you like a guy or maybe think you can learn to like him, why not be wise enough and let him know what is on the ground?

I think sometimes women/girls are just so selfish and cruel.

…does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 1 Cor 13:5


11 thoughts on “Sometimes Girls Are Just ….

  1. Your absolutely right about this. I agree that the average woman has no clue what a man goes thru to bear his heart and be crushed. And boy do we get crushed so many times. They seem to believe, "we're used to it"

    Also, alot of women simply want to order their cake, have it paid for them, eat it and still want to keep it to show it off. It can't happen. They need to decide and be clear.

    The womens movement has confused me. They preach one thing, then get pissed at us for doing what they preach. Be in touch with your feminine side, but when u do, your not man enough to be her lover. Huh??

    Great post man. Thanks

  2. You're welcome Apprentice. I had the opportunity to talk to men who have been crushed oer and over...seemingly like you said, the women think "ah, it's nothing". Yet those things are what doctors call "internal bleeding"- unseen on the outside, serious on the inside.

  3. Men are not innocent of these accusations too.

    From a girl/woman point of much as we females can be guilty of these things at times. Sometimes a dude will just not respect that you can just be friends. He is under the understanding that since you have no ring on your finger there are possiblities and in his mind he works out that you are the one.

    sometimes girl/women do not lead guys on but guys decide to be dillusional. You tell a dude no, explain to him the reasons - he says he understands. so he buys you stuff, you talk alot and to know that you are both on the same page but dude is steps above you. You interpret his gusters as sweet and brother moves to close/best friend catergory you get to an i love you basis..
    but you the chic believe you both know the boundaries.

    So if you are telling me it is wrong to be close friends with a brother then i think you should try talking to the women and get the other side of the story.

    There two sides of every story..and it takes two to tango.

  4. Ugandan Girl, I am not oblivious of any of the things you have said. The thing is while what you have said is true, you cannot deny what I have said is a fact.

    What I am saying is this- for women to lead men on is wrong. Where the girl has made things clear, well and good. Any extra drama can be blamed on the dude, but there are millions of instances where the girl willfully does a Delilah on a brother on the premise of she feels lonely, brother can handle etc...

    I am advocating for honesty, mutual respect of feelings. Your argument is needless because we have heard it over and over again, yet who has ever stood up and said sometimes girls are just down right unclear and unwilling to clear the air? I am saying it.

    So much as you want men to respect your feelings, respect theirs too.

    And this is on behalf of all the honorable men out there. Men who rather not get their hands dirty.

  5. By the way, UgGal... my friends Adler and Sher, a good example for me. No presuming, no leading, just good old girl and boy close friendship without strings.... It is very possible.

  6. I am not disputing that girl and boy cant just be friends with no strings attached.. they can.

    You do say fact, but also these honarable men are few in today's world, countable infact.

    Respect is a two way thing too. you respect my feelings i respect your feelings. so dont you dare go assuming things. I speak for the honarable girls/women who know what they want &do not want and are not afraid to say it.

  7., stop repeating what I have already I'm not trying to have a last word on this issue, I just want to add,like God said to Elijah, He has kept for Himself a remnant, and He shall raise a standard.


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